Aidil Adha

Hello lovelies!

I know I've been absent for four days but I have my reasons! Hehe... I spent my Aidil Adha at my darling's house, celebrating it with his family. It was a wonderful occasion and I felt so welcomed to be a part of my love's family.

The best about it was... he now has a little sister!! XD Mummy adopted a little girl, aged 8. We call her Yaya but the boys called her Alien. Hahaha.. I don't blame them cause they've never had a sister before. So they don't know how to react to her or even what to say to her.

Honestly, I don't know how to treat a little girl either. Cause I have two younger brothers of my own. But I'm happy to say that I'm glad I was there. At least she's not too shy now to go up to the boys and have small chats with them.

That was my raya. Short and sweet. =)

It's Me and You

This is actually lyrics I've written based on a Japanese song. It has no correlation with the original meaning of the song whatsoever. It's just that it has a cute beat and somehow I was suddenly inspired to write one. This is dedicated to my loved one, Redhuan Malik. If you guys wanna karaoke to these lyrics (hehe), search up Joe Hisaishi's "Kaze ni Naru", an OST of the anime The Cat Returns. Have fun singing along! =D

Little raindrops hit softly on my big head

As I struggle to keep up with what I've read

Losing momentum while reading, well, I dread

Cause I don't wanna reread it again

Now, this is the cue for me to shut my book

And my mind wanders off thinking about you

I look at my phone and it says 'There's no text.'

I sigh and tell myself to not get vexed

It's so easy to get annoyed by you

And I don't know why I care like I do

But then when you're not around, I'll feel blue

It all started when you said, "I love you!"

CHORUS

It's the way you smile, it's the way you laugh

It's how you make lame jokes that make me barf

Then you turn around and sulk, crossing your arms, refuse to talk to me

Lalalalala Now, don't you look cute

Thank God this only happens with us two

This is when I come closer, hold your big hand, and say "I love you too!"

I giggled, and noticed that it stopped raining

Suddenly, my huge phone started ringing

It says on the screen it's 'Wan The Bear Wonder'

A teethy grin is all I could muster

I answered my phone and said, "Hello, my love."

And with his bass voice he asked, "Where are you?"

"I'm lazing around at home. How about you?"

"Come on down. I'll pick you up. Let's get food."

Some people might think this is meaningless

Wonder how both of us are so simple

Baby, there's no one we have to impress

It's because, and yes, you are that special

Repeat CHORUS (2X)

Change is not impossible

This is a story about my trials and tribulations when it comes to friendships. Everyone has their fair share of sweet and bitter memories. Now, let me tell you mine.

On the fateful month of June 2006, I received an offer letter to pursue my tertiary education in UiTM Kuantan. It stated that I was going to do pre-degree law. I was ecstatic and nervous at the same time. I was ecstatic to be furthering my studies. But I feared of going into an all Malay institution. Why? Because I was different. I was a vocal and frank person (still am, by the way). I would express delight to things or matters that I like and I would disdain those that I disliked. At that time, I truly believed in honesty. It was better to be blunt than to be a hypocrite or a coward.

All the above traits are not those that are embraced in the Malay culture. We are taught to be courteous, demure, and silent when needs be. Those are all good traits, mind you. But the problem is how it is exaggerated and difference is almost ignored upon.

So, there I was. In the middle of the hall in UiTM Jengka. It was our orientation week before we moved to Kuantan. There, I made friends. Before our departure to Kuantan, the seniors requested us to do a performance for everyone. That was when it all started.

All the pre-law students congregated and discussed what we should perform. Somehow or rather, due to the lack of memory that I had about that event, I was somewhat in-charge of the girls' side to tell what our plans were. We discussed and everything was consensually agreed upon. There were the rehearsals and all that jazz. Finally, we performed and everyone loved it. I had to admit that I was being very strict with a bunch of strangers. To them, they thought I was extremely bitchy and bossy. But to me, it was just so hard to organize all of them. When everything was over, we were off to Kuantan. Little that I knew, that amongst the girls, hatred was starting to grow.

In any school, we would always associate ourselves with a clique. I had a clique of my own and we did almost everything together. I didn't realize that the other girls complained to my clique how they hated the fact that I was very frank in whatever I say and they thought I was just plain rude. They claimed they "defended" me. But the hearsays persisted and they thought it was vital to have an intervention about my attitude. Everything came out. I didn't realize how much people I've hurt, which was inclusive of my own friends. They cried, I zoned out. I didn't know how I should digest all of that at one go. I felt ashamed of myself. They gave me an ultimatum. For some of them, they would severe our friendship if I didn't want to change. And it ended just there.

It was indeed a long semester for me. I have always believed in a principle that people should accept each other as who they are. There was no need for adaptation. Why would you adapt yourself to others for their own pleasure? How about your feelings? But clearly, it didn't matter there. So I adapted and changed my ways. Slowly but surely, I created more and more friends amongst the girls. One of them even said to me, "Babe, you're not bad at all. If I knew, I would've been friends with you earlier on." I only smiled. Truthfully, I didn't know how to react. But I was happy. Really happy that the change happened.

Still, karma is always a bitch. In my third and last semester, my clique turned their back against me. I went into an unknown dispute with one of my friends. But the whole group opted to push me away. I begged, I apologized, I wanted closure. They insisted on distancing themselves from me. I never knew the reason why and what they did was cruel.

There I was. Standing all alone after class, not knowing where to go and what to do. But then I found debating. I found friends who are worth keeping, who share the same things that I like, who are just as liberated. I could breathe again. Then it hit me. Friends are a person's lifeline. But only to those who are worth keeping. One day, the girl that I had an illusionary dispute came up to me and apologized. I cried and said it was alright. I apologized to her again and asked her why did we have to have this argument. She was silent for a moment. And then she said I should ask one of my friends in our clique if I want to know the reason why. I was dumbstruck. Our dispute was instigated by someone else. Someone whom everyone in the clique trusted the most. And the worse thing was, that friend of mine believed her without even verifying anything with me. I was so disappointed. I was so angry. I hated them. I hated the fact that they were childish. I couldn't accept how the ganged up against me just because a person said something. It wasn't high school anymore. I saved myself the drama and I cut all ties with them.

They were surprised how I could still survive without having them in my life. This was how I did. I created new friendships and I cherished those that are dear to me.

You see, interventions happen for a reason. It is for you to better yourself and mend all the wounds that you've made to friends that care about you. Running away and trying to be vindictive to others, like your family and your other friends, will only fuel more confrontation. If your friends really mean anything to you, then do something about it. Change yourself for the better. Don't blame others if they push you away because of legitimate reasons of your wrongdoings - which has already been expressed, mind you - and you still prance about of your innocence. Stand up, bite the bullet, and grow up. It's hard to do. But actions reflect what you really believe and want.

'Nuff said.

How would you want a girl to text you?

Yes, I owe you one post, my dear blog. However, due to time constraints I could only post one for now. Hehe...

Anyway, something random happened today. To all the guys out there, I bet you guys have had your share of saying out a list of pick up lines to girls. The ultimate goal at the end of the day is to either get her number or for the both of you to exchange numbers or for you to give her your number hoping that she'd get back to you. Some of these strategies have succeeded and some of them have failed miserably. Now, let me tell you a story of the latter.

I was walking down my apartment to meet up with my boyfriend. On the way down, I bumped into my high school friend and we had a little chat. Once the conversation was over, I continued walking. Whilst walking, I looked around and accidentally made eye contact with a guy. That was a normal occurrence that could happen to anyone one of us. When I've almost reached the gate, I was startled when suddenly, a guy called out to me. This was the dialogue:

Guy : Excuse me, miss.

Me : Erm... yes?

Guy : Here. (Handed me his business card) Kalau nak organize apa-apa, boleh lah contact ek.

Me : ............ Oh okay. Thank you.

Guy : Um, tumpang tanya. Kalau nak tau ada rumah sewa kosong kat sini, macam mana ye?

Me : Well, there's a notice board dekat dengan lift. You can get the numbers there.

Guy : Oh ye ke. I ingatkan nak cari rumah sewa kat sini.

Me : You boleh try kat maintenance office jugak. They usually have a list of siapa-siapa nak sewakan rumah dorang.

Guy : Okay. Thanks ek.

Me : Sure.

(I turned around and started to walk away. Suddenly, he called out to me again.)

Guy : Text me!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! It was so fucking funny!! How un-smooth can you be? Oh well, I went into my boyfriend's car and told him about the whole endeavor and gave him the business card. He called that guy a moron and he threw the card away later today.

Moral of the story is... asking a girl how to get phone numbers of available houses for rent with the excuse of giving her your business card and hoping that she'll text you at night, IS ONE OF THE LAMEST PICK UP LINE STRATEGIES EVER!

Cheers~ =D

Excessively emotional

This often happens when I'm bored and when I have nothing else better to do. I've been slobbering myself with romantic comedies since yesterday! I watched 27 Dresses and Sleepless in Seattle. And typically, I cried watching the sweet moments in those movies. After I'm done, I'd call my boyfriend and he'd sigh and laugh at me. In between my free time, I read 'Excessively Diverted' from Juliette Shapiro. It's a probable sequel (like a fanfic) to Jane Austen's unfinished 'Sanditon' cause she died too soon. I'm not surprised though. Back then, healthcare was horrible as fuck.

Why? What am I getting myself into? I guess all of these emotions of love make me feel warm and fuzzy inside. There's no other greater feeling in the world than to love someone and to have that person love you in return. It's a bliss and a pain too. Hahaha!

Have you ever wondered what is the 'ideal' relationship you've always wanted to have? I bet everyone has a different idea on how they want that to happen. As for me, it's to feel comfortable in my own skin when I'm with him. But I guess there'll always be a slippery slope somewhere. You see, when you know a person so well and love him so much, you tend to be very comfortable around him. When this instance persists, you become complacent. That's when shit hits the fan.

You act around him just how you'd act around your friends. Not that it's bad. But you get all mushy with him in front of others. The thing is they are alright with it. He's not. The point that I'm trying to make here is that the comfort zone I've created around him is starting to swallow me up whole. It's because I no longer have barriers when reacting in front of others when I'm with him and he feels embarrassed. As usual, I was being indignant. Defending myself by saying everyone else knew how we were and they were fine with it. But when he asked me have I ever considered him into picture, that was when I fell silent.

I think that's the problem I've been having. I did things that irk him but he was always patient with me. Still, lately we've been in arguments about how selfish I was by putting my interests before his. How it has always been about me. When in fact, he was going through so much but I didn't even see it until last night.

He's having a few family problems right now. When he told me all of his problems, it made me think of all the selfish things I made him do. He said that the family problems were giving him a really bad headache and all he wanted to do was to seek my company. So he could feel happy. That was why he got so angry every time I throw a tantrum. He didn't have anyone to turn to and it broke his heart. I couldn't stop tearing. How could I be so blind to not see all this? He was in pain and all I did was nothing.

But he said he felt better now. He vented out his frustration and I cheered him up.

I've finally realized how much I'm taking him for granted. Assuming that his everyday routine is fine without even asking him. I don't know how I've become so self-centered. Which I find very disgusting. Yes, I am disgusted with myself. I've been taking all of it and not giving. And all I have to do is to make him happy, which is the easiest thing to do.

Now, no reason for me to be selfish anymore. It's always an US in a relationship. Not a ME.

M.I.A. much?

My exams were over a couple of days ago. And suddenly some sort of epiphany just hit me... what ever happened to my blog? When I looked it up, I was surprised. It's been dead since April. This is when I hit my myself hard on the forehead. Where did all that big talk about consistently jotting down my thoughts? Obviously I got derailed along the way. I guess a 24-credit hour semester screws up your time management.

But then again, this might just be a lame excuse for me to overcompensate my problem with giving commitment to my blog. I've done you wrong, love. Now I'll TRY to pay more attention to you. Haha!

I thought my blog looked dull and depressing. The brown-coloured background was unwelcoming. No wonder I spite looking at it sometimes. Hence, unconsciously neglecting it for the past seven months.

So, now it has gone through maintenance, even though not that much. One thing is by the design itself I've seen how much a person changes over time. You tend to be more mature in due time, or otherwise. It's funny how I've used to despise the colour pink. But now it's my background. Hah! Still, it feels warm and fresh which is very inviting for me to write. =)

Done with that, I checked out other people's blogs. No, it's not me being in stalker mode. Just curious to know what others are up to. Suddenly, I wonder. Why do people blog anyway?

Some of my peers do it for the sake of doing it. There are others who treat it as a platform to cater to their vanity. Oh, trust me. A friend has showed me her acquittance's blog, she was so full of herself! And there are those who used it as verbal diarrhea to vent out their anger, angst and hatred. I was like, wow. This is what it has come down to. On the other hand, it's each to his own.

To me, there are certain things that are worth sharing with everyone and there are certain things which you just shut up about. But I understand that people have different ways in expressing themselves and one way is to write about them. Still, I really think that anonymity should be put into place when talking (or complaining) about a person or event that most persons who follow you would know. Yeah, people love to hear, see and read about drama. But overexposure can be a real pain. I mean, no one likes the drama king/queen or the Tell-It-All. But hey, there's no right or wrong. You might say "Screw you!" when you read this. Not like I care though. There you go. An attitude that fits all who writes. =)

To think of it again, it's not much of what you write, but it's how you write it. A person's work of art (which I consider writing as) invokes emotions - to the writer and to the readers. It's inevitable that what you write reflects who you are. Now, my personality isn't the kind that's adorned by others. Not everyone can accept the YOU you want others to perceive. But I guess if a person has accepted the consequential effects of what he/she writes, then hey. Be my guess and say all you want. Just be classy when you do it. You can't believe how you can easily get away with it and judgments won't be passed just as quickly or as mean. ;)

"I might not agree to whatever you say. But I won't deny your right to say it."

Cheerios!

Oh, hello there.

It's obvious that it's been ages since I last posted anything on my blog. Well, there are several reasons why: it's either I was doing something more important or I was occupied with something more interesting or my broadband fucked up. But I think the main contributor to this ridiculous hiatus is my laziness. I had no motivation whatsoever to blog. But I thought I'd give it a visit. It's unfair to just leave it dead. I don't want to be an owner of something inanimate, what more morbid and stagnant.

So, a lot has happened throughout my absence here. One of the most memorable occasions that happened was on 6 April 2010. It was my one year anniversary with Redhuan Malik. A simple yet beautiful occasion which was celebrated together with my lovely mum. We've been through many highs and especially lows. And yet, we came out triumphant with a lot of patience, tolerance and most importantly love towards each other. Our relationship is blessed by both families and mutual friends. And I hope the Lord blesses this wonderful relationship as well.

A memoir in Johore

At Pelita, Jalan Ampang after watching Stifler's gig at Maison

Tidbit gifts for my baby

Redhuan & Natassha

Next: A couple of weeks ago, Mai and Min brought back two kittens to the house. They are black as ebony! I shit you not. It's only natural to not spot them; it's because they like to sit on black-coloured bags (the irony of it) or we end up accidentally stepping on them. Small creatures, they are. But they are adorable nonetheless. And growing horizontally, at a very rapid pace like nobody's business, I give you Benny and Lilly.

But not everything was coated with cotton candy. Recently, I've witnessed a friendship that was built after three years shatter into pieces. I wasn't directly affected by it. It was a feud between my friends who happened to be best friends and we're all in the same click. I might never know what exactly happened and why it happened in such a way because there's always two sides of the story. Yet, the friendship ended for good. Feelings were hurt and emotions rampaged. On the contrary, both sides moved on which is a good thing. Things always happen for a reason. That's why I won't take sides. They are all still my friends, regardless of how ill the think of each other.

This was so random. I was rekindled with one of my favourite cartoons that I enjoyed as a child. Redhuan Malik reconnected me with Daria. The good old days are coming back to me. She is still as awesome as how I thought she was back when I was a kid. Good show.

Daria Morgendorffer

On another note, I wished one of my friends happy birthday on Facebook a couple of days ago. I haven't seen nor talked to her for four years. I find it really amusing how some people can manage to keep a grudge for so long. She thanked me for the wish and she decided to splendidly open up to me on my wall post. Yes, it means the comment she made was very much public. I was shocked. I asked her what did I ever do to her and apparently, I said something offensive over our last phone conversation a few years back which I'm finding it an extremely hard time to recall. But then again, she could've just said it to me then. She should have known me better by just being forthcoming about it; the fact that we were in the same click for two years. I'd have to say it doesn't bother me that much. It's only human to say the wrong things at the wrong time. Depends on the person who's at the receiving end to tell it out to us or not. And she decided to tell it to me after all this while. Still, I apologized. I did feel bad about the whole thing. Glad to know that I'm not heartless.

And now, it's the exam season. My first paper is not until next Monday. The wait is so painful but who am I to complain. A short summary of what has happened. Well, the ones that I remembered, of course. All of them are quite recent, actually. Fair enough.

Hibernation

Hello there! Oh gosh, I haven't blogged for like what, 17 days? Hahahaha! Now that's a record. Well, I've been pretty occupied with a lot of stuff since school started on the fourth. Classes, debates, catching up with friends and other bla blas filled my daily agendas. Another reason why I haven't blogged for quite some time was because of my broadband. Apparently, I can't go online in my hostel room. The connection there is really really bad which sucks. It's very disheartening when I've to do my research or check my mail cause I'm at my room most of the time. Bummer.. =(

Anyway, there's nothing much to talk about. Or rather, there are too many things going on that I don't know where to start. Haha!

Toodles! =D

Butterfingers

I dropped my phone in the toilet!! I was doing my laundry and I accidently knocked it off with my right arm. It didn't just fell onto the floor. IT FELL INTO A PUDDLE OF WATER!! T.T

I started to panic. I dried it off with my towel and tried to turn it on. It was alive!! But the screen's dead. Oh no! I began to cry and I called my boyfriend. He calmed me down. He told me to take out the battery and the SIM card and everything else that can be taken off. And then place the phone vertically overnight so that all the water in it could drain out. And I did just that. I went to sleep feeling depressed.

I turned on my phone this morning and... the screen worked! It went on and off a few times but it was steady after a few minutes. I opened every application to check whether there were any malfunctions. But it was all good. Alhamdulillah.. now I'm charging it before I go to class.

Oh my God, I'm such a clutz. I will NEVER EVER do such a mistake again. I love my phone and it was a gift. So now I'm gonna protect it with my life. And I mean it!

Mocha Latte

To those of you who know me well, you'd probably be surprised that I'm up early today. It's no surprise really cause it's the first day of school! It's a new year and a new semester. I'm pumped up! But irony has its way to bid me hello.

I was supposed to move in to my hostel last Saturday. However, I filed in my application in the non-conventional way. I wrote an appeal letter to the Vice Chancellor of my school regarding the accommodation and it was approved. The head of hostels at my school are called Principals. So the Principal of the hostel I'm staying approved it as well. But I guess I was too excited about getting things settled, I forgot to photostat a copy of the letter for my own reference. When I came last Saturday, with the abundance of my property in Mummy's car, I couldn't register. I didn't have the pre-registration slip, the hostel fees receipt, and other documents. Why? Cause it wasn't mentioned by the Principal to me at all during our meeting. And he told me that I can move in whenever I want before classes begin. The thing is, none of the hostel staff knew what to do. They weren't notified of my "special" situation. So the hostel staff told me to come today, because the Principal will be in. Apparently, the Principal kept my letter. For what reason I don't know. So now I have to settle my hostel issues in the non-conventional way as well. It's a hassle but it's not something I can't deal with.

At the moment, I'm enjoying an awesome breakfast at The Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf in KL Sentral before I depart to Shah Alam. I'm having a mocha latte and a chicken pie. A little bit of a splurge but it's definitely worth it. Ahh.. heaven.

That means I'm not going to my morning class. It sucks cause I've reserved all my enthusiasm for today yet I can't manifest it. That is why I need to have this breakfast. It's a happy-mood-moment for me so that I can go through today with a huge smile on my face. It's gonna be a long day. That's why I have to be positive all the way.

I hope everything goes well. If not, I'll put on a frown and Papa will start barking. It's not a nice scene when that happens, you know. After all of that, I hope to meet my baby later today. He's my happy pill and I miss him like no body's business. Haha!

So, I'm looking forward to having a nice day. And I hope you guys do too. =)

Hello hello!

My last post was... nine days ago. Haha! Many things happened along the way. But I was either too lazy to blog or I was dead tired.

We have ushered in a new year and 2010 is now at our doorstep. Some are enthusiastic and some otherwise. Nevertheless, let's hope that 2010 will bring us more fun and happiness than last year. We're all a year older now. And it's time to get wiser.

Alright peeps. Will be back to blog if there's anything I feel like sharing with the world. Au revoir!